Well I believe right now my struggle with God at this moment would have to be that I'm in this part of my life where I am fighting between doing it myself and fixing it myself, when I do know that in the bottom of my heart that God is, who I need to lean on and give him the control and rely on him for when I have no strength to carry on. Last night I was listening to a interview of Joni Eareckson Tada and she said that there were days where she asked God in the morning before her friend came in to help her get dressed, to give her some of his smile. This is what I want to do and how I want to live.
I just need to get passed this little barrier in my mind that is telling me no and it feels that going past this barrier is something my body doesn't want to do. I was shown through Joni, that even when our physical body can't do what we know we should be doing, we can grab hold on to God and ask him for the strength that our own physical body cannot do. Right now I would have to say that God is slowly answering this to me through people I find why on the internet and it comes at a moment when I need to hear it.
The thing that has been holding me back and what I have been slowly learning to seek God on is my depression. I feel that depression is something that clouds your mind and makes you believe that there isn't anyone with you. It mutes the faith in God that you once had. Your faith doesn't disappear, but it is made to seem that it is not the most important thing. There have been moments of pure clarity, where the fog has God and asked him for his help and these are the moments where I feel to be myself once again. I'm struggling to hold on to these moments and fully trust God and not allow Satan to tempt me and draw back into the fog.
I truly believe that Satan has a huge deal in being part of the blame. We misconceive the gravity of the Spiritual warfare that is going on right now. Satan and his demons are fighting against Jesus/God and his angels, for our souls. Never before have I been clearer on this fact because I have felt that pull. We as Christians in America have lost sight of this, because we have been blinded to the full extent of Christianity. There is a war going on and Satan has lost, and until judgement day comes and he is thrown into the lake of fire, but we must not be apathetic and resigned to the fact that he is eventually beaten, because Satan is going to try his damnedest to bring as many souls down with him.
Amen! Preach it sista!
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