I was lost, but now am Found.

Being physically lost is far different than being mentally lost...at times I feel that I'm wandering around in a circle not knowing where the end is or being in a maze and can't finding the exit. Besides being lost, I'm trapped not knowing how to get out. There are many ways you can handle this situation and I have been through many of them. You can keep floundering lost and confused and fall to the ground crying, run around screaming to get help, but no one can hear you. This is how I have been feeling for the last two months. I'm being so very honest...it is hard to actually type this out on the internet for the world to see, but there is something so very important about my story. I think it is quite weird saying I have a story, but everyone has a story. There is a name to this feeling of being lost and not knowing how to get out and that is depression. I am depressed. No, I am clinically depressed...Gosh, that is a hard thing to say, I'm tearing up write now. It is just that it is such a hard part of my life and I struggle...everyday dealing with it. Medicine is good and all, but it doesn't change everything, part of this fight is one that I have to overcome...For quite awhile this depression has pushed me away from God, it has built a wall around my heart and I have become cold hearted to God, just as the Pharoh did during Moses's time. I knew God and believed in him, but that relationship that is so critical in being a real follower of Christ wasn't there. I just went through the motions, said the right things... I wasn't doing anything wrong, really in all actuallity I was doing NOTHING. At times all I wanted to do was lay in bed all day and sleep. I felt trapped and I am slowly crawling out of my hole, slowly but surely I will get out of this hole and rub the dirt off and learn from the challenge that I am facing. One night I was reading in the Bible, which is so key in keeping Satan at bay and keeping you full with the Holy Spirit, I read a verse in Hebrews 13 it said "Because God said, 'Never will I leave you, Never will I forsake you.' So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper. I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?'" I asked myself this question replied fullheartedly in my room NO.. then I substituted Satan in the word for man... and I said again NO. It reminds me of a RED song where he is basically screaming for satan to get away. I felt this release, my shoulders were a little bit lighter and I felt more like myself. I have so so much going for me, I'm applying to law school, I am in my senior year, I'm taking the LSAT, I want to make a difference, I want others to know the love of Christ. I want to change lives. I want others to have the never ending, always loving relationship with Jesus Christ that I have. HE IS THE ONE THAT PULLED ME OUT MY DARK HOLE. IT WAS HIS HAND REACHING OUT THESE LAST TWO MONTHS SAYING, "COME MY CHILD I LOVE YOU, LET ME TAKE YOUR BURDENS AWAY." HE LOVES ME SO MUCH THAT HE DIED FOR ME. I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW. No one can deny my experiences. God is someone that is so Peaceful, so loving, so caring, so Just, is so jealous he wants me for himself. He wanted me as he wants you to be his child. that is why he sent his only son to die on earth. I'm slowly crawling, but the key word is that I am. I am ready to face the day even though it might seem scary. Satan won't hold me down, not now, not ever. There is a reason he should be scared, I have broken down the wall. God has won, Satan has lost, he has his judgement. He will be thrown into the fiery lake for all eternity and we will give praises to the Most High God and forever be in his Glory. Praise be to Him!

Am I content? I think I am.

I am content with being single and actually just want to stay that way for a bit. There are so many things God has for my life and right now being single is where God wants me to be and I just really understood that these last two days. I have amazing friends and my family is amazing as well and right now I only want to focus on God and really put him first in my life. I need to grow so much in my walk with God and there are so many things that I still need to give to him. I really believe that God has big plans for me and I just need to give him the reigns...because I have been holding on to them even when I thought I wasn't. This is what I have been thinking about and realizing about myself. I haven't fully understood the power and glory of God. Will I ever understand who God is? Let's compare God to Color. Color is an amazing thing and we only see a fraction of it. We just see the surface, just like an iceberg you can only see the top, but what is under the water is massive. That is the same with Color, we see the colors red, blue, green, yellow, but we don't see infrared, gamma rays, x-rays, radio waves, microwaves, and ultraviolet with our naked eye. It took years of research and innovation to be able to see these other colors and still we have so much to be discovered. Who knows there could be far more colors than we have realized? The same is with God. We can't see God, but we see what he has done and created. We can catch glimpses of God's massive power and overwhelming love at times, but they are always fleeting. The feelings of Joy and overwhelming peace are fleeting. You can never be full of Joy, all the time. The "technology" that helps us to see glimpses of who God is the Bible, prayer, worship of any type, silence, listening, and just looking at what is around you. There are times when I just want to shout with Joy and proclaim about who God is, but sometimes as quickly as it came it goes away. God is complex and simple at the same time, if that makes sense. If we truly saw and knew the total of God's power, we wouldn't be able to stand and would have to look away. This is shown when Moses talked with God first through the burning bush and then later when Moses talk to God in his tent. When Moses walked out of his tent, he was glowing with the radiance of God and the Israelites couldn't look at him. Also there is many places in the Bible where you can see the immense power of God and the book that I really see God's power is in Job. God's response is amazing and just gives a glimpse of everything God can do.

Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm. He said:

2 "Who is this that darkens my counsel

with words without knowledge?

3 Brace yourself like a man;

I will question you,

and you shall answer me.

4 "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?

Tell me, if you understand.

5 Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!

Who stretched a measuring line across it?

6 On what were its footings set,

or who laid its cornerstone-

7 while the morning stars sang together

and all the angels [a] shouted for joy?

8 "Who shut up the sea behind doors

when it burst forth from the womb,

9 when I made the clouds its garment

and wrapped it in thick darkness,

10 when I fixed limits for it

and set its doors and bars in place,

11 when I said, 'This far you may come and no farther;

here is where your proud waves halt'?

12 "Have you ever given orders to the morning,

or shown the dawn its place,

13 that it might take the earth by the edges

and shake the wicked out of it?

14 The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;

its features stand out like those of a garment.

15 The wicked are denied their light,

and their upraised arm is broken.

16 "Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea

or walked in the recesses of the deep?

17 Have the gates of death been shown to you?

Have you seen the gates of the shadow of death?

Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?

Tell me, if you know all this.

"What is the way to the abode of light?

And where does darkness reside?

Can you take them to their places?

Do you know the paths to their dwellings?

Surely you know, for you were already born!

You have lived so many years!

"Have you entered the storehouses of the snow

or seen the storehouses of the hail,

which I reserve for times of trouble,

for days of war and battle?

What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed,

or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth?

Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain,

and a path for the thunderstorm,

to water a land where no man lives,

a desert with no one in it,

to satisfy a desolate wasteland

and make it sprout with grass?

Does the rain have a father?

Who fathers the drops of dew?

From whose womb comes the ice?

Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens

when the waters become hard as stone,

when the surface of the deep is frozen?

"Can you bind the beautiful Pleiades?

Can you loose the cords of Orion?

Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons

or lead out the Bear with its cubs?

Do you know the laws of the heavens?

Can you set up God's dominion over the earth?

"Can you raise your voice to the clouds

and cover yourself with a flood of water?

Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?

Do they report to you, 'Here we are'?

Who endowed the heart with wisdom

or gave understanding to the mind ?

Who has the wisdom to count the clouds?

Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens

when the dust becomes hard

and the clods of earth stick together?

"Do you hunt the prey for the lioness

and satisfy the hunger of the lions

when they crouch in their dens

or lie in wait in a thicket?

Who provides food for the raven

when its young cry out to God

and wander about for lack of food?

Untitled

So many thoughts run through my head,
and wishes they would cease
for it would be nice to have some quiet and listen to the stillness.

Why, oh why won't they stop taunting me
with what could be or most likely not.
Constantly moving, never stopping, always teasing.
My hopes, my fears, my wants, my needs, the desires of my heart.
Why, oh why is this so hard.
Ever waiting, ever pacing back and forth until the floor becomes so worn.
Seconds passing, tension rising, the unknown is what I fear.

Time is slowing, calm is coming to ease my growing fear.
But who is this that slows my pounding heart.
that makes me at peace with what is now
and not be anxious at what may come.
It is he, I will give my hopes, my fears, my wants, my needs, the desires of my heart.
The thoughts that taunt are not found.
because the one who saves has brought
the quiet that I had been ever wanting.

Searching to be found

Searching to be found

 

There are not many Races; there is just ONE, the HUMAN RACE.

We all have souls, we all cry, we all laugh, we all fall, we all sing, we all mourn,

we all smile, we all scream, we all run, we all dream, we all have souls, we run, we jump,

we live, we die, we are searching, we imagine, we hope, we worry, we cry out,

we lift our hands, ever searching.

 

Why are we here? From far and near

We search high and low

for something real

 

something, we all know is there.

Can’t put our fingers on it,

but we know its there

 

Flesh and blood hold us here

Holding us in a place that’s known

But we fight and strain against our binds

Knowing, constantly searching for our home.

 

We come as we are

Weak, strong, humble, proud, kind, mean, generous, greedy

We come from afar

searching ever for

the one with open arms

calling us home

 

Our Souls push us towards the truth,

but our hearts leads us away

our minds reject the truth

with logic and reason

Where is our faith…our belief?

 

Why do we turn from what we are searching for?

Do you know what you are doing?

Your entire being and soul yearns for this truth,

but you reject it as old news.

 

Are you being true to the deep desires within your soul?

Why do you reject something so pure, so bright?

the Dark recesses of this world grab hold

dragging you, clinging on

 

“Break free and follow me” he says, holding his hand of light before you.

“I have a place prepared for you. I have shelter and rest. Lay down your weary head. You are safe with me, my child. Drink and be filled, never hunger or thirst again.”

 

“I ask nothing, but your faith, your trust, your belief.”

With me, mountain tops will be reached, the impossible is MY possible. Never again will you search for things to fill your empty soul. With me, you will always be filled. Forever more.

 

I'm a Christian, not methodist, baptist, lutheran, presbyterian, catholic, just a CHRISTIAN!

Denominations are pointless, they cause nothing, but grief, heartache, fighting, and create divides when we are supposed to be the Body of Christ, not bodies, but one Body.  In the Bible, there is no mention of denominations, so why do we give them great importance. Yes, I know differing theology, but theology is something we shouldn't be focusing on the most. We should be followers of Christ. Living our lives for him by serving others and spreading the love of Christ to all. Why are we doing nothing in this great country, the United States? Christianity has become a title and just the cultural norm. There are many who claim to be Christians, but look no different than the non-Christian standing beside them. Also the Bible is true, every last word! The so-called "stories" in the Old testament are fact and did actually occur. The Bible is not a guideline on how we should live our lives, picking out what fits us the best that day. If we call ourselves Christians, we should be following God and following everything he commands us to do.  We don't have the luxury of picking and choosing, but we are supposed to be following everything.  Yes, I am Human. I try the best to follow what God has commanded and there many upon many times that I have failed, but God is there to pick me up, when I fall. That is what is so great about God, he loves so much. He actually sent his son to this earth, to live and give us a perfect example on how we should live.  Although he was perfect, he was executed by hanging on the cross.  He became our offering and took everyone's sins. Mine and yours even though he died over 2000 years ago.  He gave this amazing gift of living eternally with him! All we have to do is accept this gift. What is so hard about accepting a free gift? We accept them all the time!  I believe fully that we each have a purpose on this Earth and God has it all planned and all we need to do is believe in him and follow what he wants us to do.  

Hebrews 11

By Faith

 1Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. 2This is what the ancients were commended for.

 3By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible. 4By faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did. By faith he was commended as a righteous man, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith he still speaks, even though he is dead.

 5By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death; he could not be found, because God had taken him away. For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God. 6And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

 7By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that comes by faith.

 8By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. 9By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. 10For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.

 11By faith Abraham, even though he was past age—and Sarah herself was barren—was enabled to become a father because he^[a]considered him faithful who had made the promise. 12And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore.

 13All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. 14People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. 15If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. 16Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.

 17By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had received the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, 18even though God had said to him, "It is through Isaac that your offspring^[b] will be reckoned."^[c] 19Abraham reasoned that God could raise the dead, and figuratively speaking, he did receive Isaac back from death.

 20By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau in regard to their future.

 21By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of Joseph's sons, and worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff.

 22By faith Joseph, when his end was near, spoke about the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt and gave instructions about his bones.

 23By faith Moses' parents hid him for three months after he was born, because they saw he was no ordinary child, and they were not afraid of the king's edict.

 24By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh's daughter. 25He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time. 26He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward. 27By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king's anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible. 28By faith he kept the Passover and the sprinkling of blood, so that the destroyer of the firstborn would not touch the firstborn of Israel.

 29By faith the people passed through the Red Sea^[d] as on dry land; but when the Egyptians tried to do so, they were drowned.

 30By faith the walls of Jericho fell, after the people had marched around them for seven days.

 31By faith the prostitute Rahab, because she welcomed the spies, was not killed with those who were disobedient.^[e]

 32And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets,33who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions,34quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. 35Women received back their dead, raised to life again. Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. 36Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. 37They were stoned^[f]; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated— 38the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground.

 39These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. 40God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.

Did you know thousands upon thousands of Christians are being killed each year for their faith???