Exhausted

Exhausting, tiring, worn out, burned out, tuckered out, I will now kick the bucket, well just to my bed to sleep. It has been a tiring day, I have slept so much today although I had a good night of sleep these last couple days. These last four days feel like a year, praying for renewal, to learn to live again, to get past all of these emotions that have bogged me down for two years. I want to live up to my potential and guess what I am a scared and weary of what's to come.

I feel like Jeremiah, who my mom taught in sunday school today. He was a prophet for 40 years and he had to tell Israel what they have done wrong against God and that they will punished. People cursed and called him names, friends hated him and he became weary and scared and very down in his soul and cried. (or as 1st or 2nd grader Chase said about Jeremiah being hated, "For no good reason!") Jeremiah was also thrown into prison as well as in a well of mud. I feel like Jeremiah, tired in my soul, not for his reasons, but similar in that I feel attacked constantly, constantly hindered to do what must be done to survive and live the path God has chosen for me. Jeremiah and I are similar in that I have done my share fair of crying. Maybe God wanted me to be in the Sunday School my mom was teaching because I needed to learn that my soul is weary and I need sleep, I need to rest my soul and become recharged.

So maybe that is why I slept so much today, unintentionally in 2nd service of church, after church for 20 minutes and then for a couple hours this late afternoon and at this moment before falling asleep, I am exhausted as well. It isn't because of anything I have done physically, but I believe God wants me to take this time at home to rest my weary soul in the arms of my Saviour. As I sleep tonight I will rest on the promises my Saviour has told me. I have a long and weary battle ahead of me and I want to win and rely on the one true God, Yahweh, Alpha and Omega, Jehovah, Adonai, El Shaddai

I love you.